What to Do and Not Do

If you learn the police are investigating you or you are charged with stalking, you should retain an attorney as soon as possible. Be prepared to give your attorney any information you have about the case, the victim, and your relationship with the victim. There also are several things you should not do if you learn you are being investigated for or charged with stalking. For instance, you should not: try to talk to the victim about the case or have any contact with the victim talk to law enforcement or other investigators without an attorney present, or give any evidence to law enforcement without consulting with a lawyer first—even if you believe the evidence will show you are not guilty of the alleged crime.

You might wonder as you listen, is this person truly seeking wellness, self-protection or justice or is the goal to destroy someone else? If a person is lying to hurt someone else it is a very aggressive act and the accuser needs help. Such choices do not foster a healthy existence with generous, loving relationships. You might hear a tale of woe, and just have the feeling that the teller is not all that woeful. Maybe there is a need to blame or malign for secondary gain: attention, fame, money, importance or drama. Maybe the person is not in touch with reality and is retaliating against an imagined transgression. Some seemingly intact people can have paranoid fears at the core. In order to “defend” themselves they act against others. Maybe the goal is to take someone else down for competitive, regressed, or even unconscious reasons. They just want what the other one has. Making a false accusation in a public way is an aggressive act. In the movie The Bad Seed, a sociopathic child has an angelic demeanor and manages to destroy many lives. Sweet faces, soft voices and tears can hide sadistic impulses. If you know someone like this, the best thing you can do is steer clear and build up your own life in a positive, separate way. Time takes away the sting, people eventually figure out the truth and recovery is possible. You may be stronger, better, savvier after you get out from under this mess you did not create.